Wrong thoughs

If you wanna read this post, first i wana tell you something..
Don't think too much.. I thought too much so i wrote this but i was wrong..
But i didn't wanna delete it oso.. So mustwell, post it right?

Darling, sorry it's all my fault.
I know that i suck and never did deserve you.
But i still continued loving you the same.
Now though i know that you no longer love me but i'll continue loving you sorry.
You may not want to leave me for fearing some stuff so i'll take the first step to leave you and just love you from afar.
As long as you're happy, it's good enough for me.
Everyday i've been waiting for you for your dad never did want us to be together till i even got sick and still am but i continues waiting for if get to be with you for even 5 minutes, dying's also worth it.
I guess, i may change my blog,email and block you from everywhere.
So that you'l go back to your old life as if i never did exist in your life.
But i'll continue loving you imagining that you're happy always.
I don't think i'll continue with my blog for it reali hurts bad enough.
Every second without you hurts my hear like a knife piercing through it but it was worth it.
I got to be with you though not forever but for a period long enough making me really happy.
And i'll never love anyone else like i promised.
You're the only one i'll love till forever.
So i guess i should tell you goodbye then.
I guess this is how it feels to be forced to leave the one you love in order for them to be happy even if it means having to hurt oneself..
But nevermind, you taught me loads of new stuff making me a diferent person from before.
I really done know how i'll live without you or if i'll continue living a not but i guess you'll never know.
You'll be too busy with other people never needing to care bout me ever again.
Sigh, i guess i was always jealous of him for being able to be with you more and closer yet i'm like invisible to you.
I guess i was always jealous bout the people round you especially those you're very close with yet hated thse who touched you without your permission.
But now, i can be jealous and do things i wanted to do, to be emo and hurt myself again.
Sigh, why am i still writing this blog now.
I already cant stand the pain so i guess this is really the final words i'll tell you..
Darling, i'm sorry for my past wrong doings.
I'll still love you i guess but i'll never tell you, you will never know.
But i just wish you'll be happy so i'll perish from your life forever.
I love you