So many nice red marks on my hand now..
Though not squirting out blood but it's red as blood..
I'm sorry but this is all i can do to stop the aching in my heart..
I know you asked me not to do this but..
You don't even wanna chap me anymore..
I cant take it much longer..
My heart hurts very much..
It's as if it's stabbed continuesly but it's out of generosity..
It hurts a lot but the pain keeps coming again and again..
I just wish you to be happy and stuff but why must it be so hard..
I do not deserve you at all..
But you never want to let me go..
You never did love me before why love me now??
You never cared for me before why care for me now?
I just know that you deseve him as so do he deserve you..
But you are so hard headed in admitting that you have stopped loving me..
You don't want to let me go but lock me inside your grasp..
I hate my life a lot as for what i have done is making everyone mad at me..
But it's the only why to lessen the pain in my heart and soul..
I cant forget you or worry if you're safe..
But you never really cared bout me but yourself..
You don't even find me or anything anymore..
It hurts a lot but i must bear wif it..
There is nothing i can do to stop the pain..
Sigh..
I wish i could just die but i cant..
There are many people out there who wants me to live though others want me dead..
I tried consulting a counselor but she was not in the office today..
So tomorrow Shu Xiang say she want to bring me go see counselor..
She say she's going to pull me along..
I am scared but i know it's the only way for me to forget you..
Or else, i will forever love you and not being able to let you go..
You though don't understand my feelings but..
I love you a lot and more then anyone even myself..
So i wish you will just for once let me go and if i wanna end my life, let me do it..
I'm reali sorry for the things i am doing to myself but i'm even more sorry you met me..
I only brought suffering to you and i wish that not to happen anymore..
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